Horror Movie Survival Kit

Horror movies really get me into the Halloween spirit (see my 13 Nights of Halloween from last year!) However, I usually start talking to the TV about how this entire mess could be solved if they just had _____. I'm sure I'm not alone. Coincidentally, the people over at Man Crates inspired me to put together a hypothetical "horror movie survival kit." Man Crates is a new company that puts together awesome gift crates for men, where they must open their perfectly curated gift with a crow bar! You know, to feel all manly and stuff. ;) They have crates for grilling, the outdoors, drinking, eating, sports, etc. Man Crates posed the question and I answered with my top 10 items to survive a horror movie. Anyway, lets get to it because I know people are just DYING to know! haha.

Gun If you have a brain, you know a gun is definitely needed in this situation. And since I know next to nothing about them, I probed my friends and family. One person said they would use a shotgun because it would be a lot harder to miss the murderer. Two others said an AR-15 and another gave me a long, descriptive scenario of possible events and guns to use for the ultimate "no murderer comes out alive" outcome. All 97 pounds of me felt pretty intimidated by these selections, but I'm obviously not getting into a knife fight with anyone, so I will keep these recommendations on hand. Now also remember, some mythical creatures can't be killed by just any bullet. You're going to need silver and wood bullets too as back up for werewolves and vampires.

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Do you remember that little gun that Will Smith used in Men In Black, coined the midget cricket? Yaaaa. I need one of those too. Perfect size for me. No one will get out alive besides me and whoever is behind me. Might make for a really short movie though. 

via Head Flashlight This one is pretty obvious, but I can't tell you how many times people in movies don't have one or think that walking by candlelight will do the trick. First of all, fire hazard and second, you need to be able to see hands free to use your weapon(s). Dorky, but this is life and death. If you're really prepared, make sure the flashlight is solar! 

Camouflage I'm going with magic on this one by throwing in Harry Potter's invisibility cloak. I thought about camouflage attire because a lot of movies end up in the woods at night or in a dark creepy house, but with this cloak no one will even be able to see you.

Phone and Extra Charger Um... before we even step foot down this scary path to no man's land, bring a cell phone. Call for help, DUH! And usually in movies, something crazy happens where their phone goes dead. Crisis averted with the portable external battery pack for charging. The only thing you have to worry about is whether you can get service or not. :/ 

Running shoes How many times have you seen girls in heels trying to run from a killer? Better yet, flip flops. You are FOR SURE setting yourself up to trip and get caught in the wrath of the killer. Some nice running gym shoes would set you up for a successful chase to safety.

Rope Scary movie characters are always losing each other in haunted houses and in the woods, so what better way to stay together than one of those child leaches? I know its a little crazy, but again, this is life and death. We don't need any stragglers get snatched without knowing. However, I think I would actually go with an item with dual purpose because rope could be beneficial in many instances of survival.

Bullet Proof Vest Another obvious choice.

Camelback Backpack After dodging the killer through an on-foot chase, you could be catching your breathe and a nice drink of water may be very helpful for future surviving. What if you get stranded out there for days? You never know, so being prepared with the elixir of life would not be a bad idea.

Katana

Michonne in the Walking Dead absolutely kills it with one of these. I think from all the binge watching of TWD on Netflix, I could channel my inner Japanese samurai. Also, you never know when one of your weapons could become unreliable, so it would be nice to have a variety. 

First Aid Kit Backpack

This backpack is perfect to house first aid and anything else you may need to store while on the move. 

I'm sure there are many other items that could be used to survive a potential blood bath, but I went with rather practical things aside from the cloak. Comment with some of your ideas to walk out alive!

*This post was not paid for by Man Crates and contains ideas and opinions solely of B-Mont's Beats.

Modern Romance

Aziz Ansari is one of my favorite comedians who first captured my laughter-loving-heart in Parks & Recreation. I mean, how great of a character is Tom Haverford? TREAT YO SELF.
I've watched his stand-ups on Netflix (MUST watch the MSG show!) and thought he was so funny. His subject matter was always relevant and were topics people could easily relate to. Sometimes he even joked about stuff no one wanted to say out loud, but there Aziz was just KILLING IT. So when I found out that he was writing a book, I really wanted to see if he could put his talents to paper.
Modern Romance was absolutely nothing like what I thought his book would be. His comical delivery about reality was funny, but it actually made me take a step back and question my own life. Its crazy how technology and social media has effected our society. Aziz researched dating, marriage, and relationships from past to present day and the major effects the use of dating apps, texting, Facebook, etc. have had on the world we live in. 
Aziz traveled to many different cultures to get a clearer picture of what makes relationships tick and work around the world. Its truly amazing to see what is accepted as appropriate in one country is absolutely forbidden in another. The relationship dynamics going on in Japanese culture are quite interesting. The government is actually subsiding establishments to hold meet-ups called machikon. Singles are thrown together to mingle and possibly develop relationships to date, marry, and procreate since Japan is so worried about their decrease in population. Men there have developed a herbivore culture where they won't pursue any woman unless they are 100% sure they won't get rejected. Whereas Buenos Aires is filled with casual sex and men comprehending that no actually means yes. Women literally have to fight men off there! I'm telling you, you won't believe some of the concepts that exist in other countries!
An interesting and commonly known phase of a relationship Aziz researched was the honeymoon phase or as scientists refer to it as passionate love. This phase is when you feel like you are on cocaine all the time and everything is rainbows and butterflies. The problem with that is, it's not reality and only last about one year. If it really was love, then you would transition into the companionate love. This phase takes maturity and stability. You hear it all the time, "the spark just isn't there anymore." Well, ya that's what happens when dopamine isn't being flooded into your body like the effects of cocaine for a year. DUH! Once reality sets in, you aren't so willing to let your partner get away with bad behavior because your high is gone. Some people jump right into another nice cocaine binge with a new relationship because they really aren't mature enough or comfortable with themselves to be alone to deal with their existing feelings. If your relationship is able to transition to the companionate love stage, this is where deep love and admiration live and grow for years to come.
I believe Aziz accurately and honestly presented the reality of dating in today's world. Technology has made it so much easier to connect with people all around the world, but at the same time, leaves entirely too much room for unlimited options and indecisiveness. Someone once described dating in today's world to me as being on Youtube. You're watching this great video, but on the side there are a bunch of other videos that "you might like" better. People are constantly thinking that something better is always around the corner and don't appreciate what they have right in front of them. I'm not putting a blanket on that because maybe what they have right in front of them really isn't that great anyway.
I think honesty is very hard to come by these days, whether that be in friendships or romantic relationships. Everyone is so worried about hurting other peoples feelings and keeping a certain image. Not saying you have to be mean, but sugarcoating and omitting information only makes things worse. Getting lied to in the first place only makes you look like more of a coward and the truth always comes out anyway. I had a friend that went on a "date" recently and she showed up to this casual restaurant/brewery thinking that they were going for dinner because thats usually what one thinks of when a first date comes to mind at a restaurant. The guy showed up for drinks only and then started inviting his friends to join them. He told her he was going to the restroom later on in the night and then never came back! Like who does this guy think he is? I told her that was an experience that she will hopefully never have to encounter again. When did this type of behavior become acceptable? #ByeFelicia
Modern Romance is a great read for all ages, single or in a relationship. I have a love/hate relationship with technology, but Aziz left me feeling optimistic about the future of our world. I think he really gives a lot of insight to look at situations in a way that could be beneficial in one's search for meaningful and healthy relationships.