Modern Romance

Aziz Ansari is one of my favorite comedians who first captured my laughter-loving-heart in Parks & Recreation. I mean, how great of a character is Tom Haverford? TREAT YO SELF.
I've watched his stand-ups on Netflix (MUST watch the MSG show!) and thought he was so funny. His subject matter was always relevant and were topics people could easily relate to. Sometimes he even joked about stuff no one wanted to say out loud, but there Aziz was just KILLING IT. So when I found out that he was writing a book, I really wanted to see if he could put his talents to paper.
Modern Romance was absolutely nothing like what I thought his book would be. His comical delivery about reality was funny, but it actually made me take a step back and question my own life. Its crazy how technology and social media has effected our society. Aziz researched dating, marriage, and relationships from past to present day and the major effects the use of dating apps, texting, Facebook, etc. have had on the world we live in. 
Aziz traveled to many different cultures to get a clearer picture of what makes relationships tick and work around the world. Its truly amazing to see what is accepted as appropriate in one country is absolutely forbidden in another. The relationship dynamics going on in Japanese culture are quite interesting. The government is actually subsiding establishments to hold meet-ups called machikon. Singles are thrown together to mingle and possibly develop relationships to date, marry, and procreate since Japan is so worried about their decrease in population. Men there have developed a herbivore culture where they won't pursue any woman unless they are 100% sure they won't get rejected. Whereas Buenos Aires is filled with casual sex and men comprehending that no actually means yes. Women literally have to fight men off there! I'm telling you, you won't believe some of the concepts that exist in other countries!
An interesting and commonly known phase of a relationship Aziz researched was the honeymoon phase or as scientists refer to it as passionate love. This phase is when you feel like you are on cocaine all the time and everything is rainbows and butterflies. The problem with that is, it's not reality and only last about one year. If it really was love, then you would transition into the companionate love. This phase takes maturity and stability. You hear it all the time, "the spark just isn't there anymore." Well, ya that's what happens when dopamine isn't being flooded into your body like the effects of cocaine for a year. DUH! Once reality sets in, you aren't so willing to let your partner get away with bad behavior because your high is gone. Some people jump right into another nice cocaine binge with a new relationship because they really aren't mature enough or comfortable with themselves to be alone to deal with their existing feelings. If your relationship is able to transition to the companionate love stage, this is where deep love and admiration live and grow for years to come.
I believe Aziz accurately and honestly presented the reality of dating in today's world. Technology has made it so much easier to connect with people all around the world, but at the same time, leaves entirely too much room for unlimited options and indecisiveness. Someone once described dating in today's world to me as being on Youtube. You're watching this great video, but on the side there are a bunch of other videos that "you might like" better. People are constantly thinking that something better is always around the corner and don't appreciate what they have right in front of them. I'm not putting a blanket on that because maybe what they have right in front of them really isn't that great anyway.
I think honesty is very hard to come by these days, whether that be in friendships or romantic relationships. Everyone is so worried about hurting other peoples feelings and keeping a certain image. Not saying you have to be mean, but sugarcoating and omitting information only makes things worse. Getting lied to in the first place only makes you look like more of a coward and the truth always comes out anyway. I had a friend that went on a "date" recently and she showed up to this casual restaurant/brewery thinking that they were going for dinner because thats usually what one thinks of when a first date comes to mind at a restaurant. The guy showed up for drinks only and then started inviting his friends to join them. He told her he was going to the restroom later on in the night and then never came back! Like who does this guy think he is? I told her that was an experience that she will hopefully never have to encounter again. When did this type of behavior become acceptable? #ByeFelicia
Modern Romance is a great read for all ages, single or in a relationship. I have a love/hate relationship with technology, but Aziz left me feeling optimistic about the future of our world. I think he really gives a lot of insight to look at situations in a way that could be beneficial in one's search for meaningful and healthy relationships.